


This Isn't Goodbye

by blondememe



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, I Love You
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4345550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blondememe/pseuds/blondememe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke and Bellamy's goodbye goes a little different at the end of Season 2</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Isn't Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN IM SO SO SORRY

“I’m not going in,” Clarke admitted while looking away from Bellamy.

Clarke and Bellamy were standing outside Camp Jaha, Clarke watching her people carefully. She hated herself. She hated herself for what she had done. She had saved her people, but at what cost? She couldn’t even bring herself to look Bellamy in the eyes

“The hell you aren’t,” Bellamy declared angrily.

“And why not?” Clarke retorted. Bellamy wasn’t the boss of her. And he didn’t know how she felt.

“Because you’re not,” he stubbornly stated.

“Well since I don’t take orders from you, I’m going to need a better reason than that,” she crossed her arms over her chest, repeating the same words Bellamy spoke to her what seemed like forever ago, before she murdered hundreds of innocent people…children, mothers, fathers families.

Bellamy didn’t say anything for a few minutes, he simply looked at the ground and ran a hand through his unruly curls.

“I thought so,” Clarke said before stomping off.

“I love you,” Bellamy whispered, barely audible.

But Clarke seemed to hear him perfectly fine. She turned around, looked him in the eyes, and shook her head. “No you don’t, you’re just saying that to get me to come in,” Clarke said while gradually moving closer to Bellamy.

Bellamy took some offense to that but quickly shook it off. “No, I’m not. I would never do that to you, Clarke.” He stepped forward so their noses were almost touching. “I love you, I love, I love you. I love you so damn much, I don’t think you realize. And you’re so damn gorgeous, my heart beats out of control whenever I see you. And you can’t leave because I might fall apart. I can’t lose you. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I need you.”

Clarke shook her head again. “No, no you don’t. Don’t you see? This is what love does to people! Love is weakness. Love gets you hurt, love gets you killed.” Her voice wavered towards the end and she tore her eyes away from Bellamy’s.

“God dammit, Clarke! Love isn’t weakness, love is strength! You make me stronger.”

She took a step back, “You know that’s not true. Love doesn’t make you strong. It makes you selfish. It makes you do everything you can to protect the people you love even if it’s not for the greater good.” She turned away from him and whispered to herself, “I almost made that mistake with you once already.”

“Is that what you meant when you told me you were being weak, that I was worth the risk?” He waited for an answer, but never got one. “Do you love me too?”

Clarke ignored this question as well. “I have to leave. I can’t- I can’t go in there.”

“You don’t have to do this alone. I pulled the lever, same as you. Monty was the one who set the entire thing up. You’re not alone, we’re all here for you. I’m here for you,” he placed his finger under Clarke’s chin and tilted her head up so she was staring him straight on.

“It’s not- it’s not the same.” She wrapped her arms around Bellamy, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

He responded and tightly grip her. “Please…please don’t leave. Don’t do this to me. I need you. I love you.”

A few tears had leaked out, but Clarke wouldn’t let anymore fall. At least where Bellamy could see, she wouldn’t be weak. She loosened her grip and kissed his cheek, “May we meet again.” She unwrapped herself from him and walked away, and when she knew he couldn’t see her face or hear her. She let the tears fall. “I love you too.”

***

Clarke came back 73 days later. Bellamy had been counting, but so had Clarke.

Clarke couldn’t handle being on her own. She had been having these awful nightmares, while some of them were about the people she murdered on the mountain, most of them were about Bellamy. Some were about him fighting reapers or grounders and being killed, but she was used to those kind of dreams. Others were simply about him and her, just being together. But of course, he would leave her at the end. He would wrap his arms around her, whisper in her ear _I love you_ ’s and other sweet nothings and then at the end of the dream he would simply disappear or die in her arms. She then would occasionally have the one where she would tell him she loved him and he would call her a murderer, a monster. He would disown her and leave her to drown in her own sorrows. But the worse ones were when she would watch him be drilled into by the mountain men and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. She was forced to watch him being tortured, standing there helpless. She would wake up in cold sweats and think to herself, _Oh God, what if they hurt him?_ What if they hurt him? Clarke wouldn’t be able to live with herself.

On the 69th day of being alone, she decided she couldn’t go another moment without Bellamy. She was so stupid. She was so fucking stupid. He could be dead for all she knew. He could be killed at any moment. She needed to see him, to tell him how much he meant to her, and how she couldn’t spend another day without him by her side.

It took her four days to travel to the camp. She wasn’t entirely sure where she was before. When she reached Camp Jaha she couldn’t help but smile when she saw all that had been done. As soon as the guards saw her (Miller and some other guy she had never seen before), they lifted their guns. “It’s Clarke! Lower you gun!” Miller barked at the other guard. “Open the gates!” He yelled down towards the ground on the inside of the camp.

As Clarke slowly entered the camp she saw almost everyone staring at her. She was quickly surrounded by people, her mother, Monty, Raven, Harper, and dozens more of the delinquents, but no Bellamy. Of course she was happy to see everyone, but she felt like her heart was being stabbed when she didn’t see him in her ‘welcome committee’.

Everyone soon scattered and she got another hug from Monty and good, hard punch from Raven. “Don’t you dare ever do that again,” she warned.

After reassuring Raven she was here to stay, she opened her mouth to ask a question, but apparently her eyes gave it away. “He’s out hunting, he should be back in an hour or so.”

Clarke nodded. “Why don’t you come get something to eat?” Raven asked her.

“I don’t think so,” Clarke sighed. “I think I’m going to wait here until…you know.”

Raven knew there was no convincing her so instead she settled for an eye roll and muttered something along the lines of “stupid, young love.”

Clarke sat and waited and waited…and waited. She was letting her mind wander when she heard the gates open. She snapped her head over to see Bellamy and some other guys walking in. She immediately stood up and see Miller tell Bellamy something. Bellamy dropped whatever dead animal he had in his hand and turned his body to face Clarke. She covered her mouth and let out a strangled sob.  “Bellamy,” she whispered before sprinting as fast as she could towards him. _He was okay._ Bellamy himself began quickly walking towards Clarke, which worked itself up to a slow jog. She basically attacked Bellamy with a death grip and he hugged back with just as much enthusiasm.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry,” she sobbed. “I- I”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Princess” he said while stroking her golden curls.

‘No, no it’s not. I missed you. Oh god, I missed you. I missed your messy curls and your freckles and your smile and just…you,” she confessed while still holding onto him like her life depended on it.

He let out a laugh and she could feel his body vibrating. “And god, you’re laugh. I missed that too.”

He kissed the top of her head and rested his chin there. “I’m so sorry, Bellamy. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. I just- I need you too. I need you, I need you, I need you,” she repeated it over and over like a mantra.

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes and pulled his face down to hers and kissed him with all of her being. She actually felt butterflies, like those blue glow-in-the-dark butterflies. They were like nothing she’s felt before. They stood there for what seemed like forever kissing, but they eventually had to pull away. They stared into each other’s eyes and she could see what Bellamy’s eyes were saying. _I missed you too. I need you too. I love you._

“Bellamy?”

“Yes?”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wooh, I really hope you guys like this. Please leave kudos and comments xoxo


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